Moving ON mode switch busted....

When my Dad and my fiance's dad finally met in Manila 21 days before he passed away
Casa Armas Glorietta 2 Makati City February 2, 2009

How much I put myself in mere trickery that papa just went out of the country or somewhere and instantly decided to forget about us here in the Philippines -- my mixed feelings of grandeur denial and minimal acceptance just builds up

creeping and accumulating every inch of my being
consuming and piercing my dreaded soul

I just end up in tears...

I try to put on different kinds of masks --
strong masks, courageous ones, unaffected poker faces...
but, at the end of the day when I don't need to wear them anymore,
my knees weaken and I fall myself breaks down
and feel extremely cheated without any chance of recourse

river of emotions...
streams of memories and thoughts...
trafficked within me everything's cluttered and I don't see clarity --

I guess no formula is going to work with grieving.
That's the sad fact.
It is only when I will genuinely learn to accept and embrace that papa is gone.

Until that day beckons,
I still feel the pain
I still feel the surreality of things
I will never see him again
touch him again
feel him again
hear him again in this lifetime...

But, the voice within tells me to be still and accept --
"Thy will be done!"
and eventually shake these all off...
pick up the pieces and move on with my life --

with a head held high
a father remembered
and a cross to surrender...

Thank You

Stories have been told. Experiences have been shared.
It just makes the family proud of Manoski -- my father. In behalf of papa and the family,
Thank you very much for being a part of his life.

Though everything still feels surreal -- Only time, genuine acceptance and a lot of prayers will help us move on...

We just hope all is well and comfortable to where you are right now!

Together with the rest of the family; Our mom and wife of Manoski, Emi; our eldest, my kuya Gio, his wife Helen and daughter, Gabbie in Hong Kong, Manoski's unica hija, my sister Ate Nina and our bunso, Enzo; Dad's siblings, her ate; my Tita Rita and her family and lastly, their bunso, my Tita Vickie and family -- we are definitely overwhelmed with the SUPPORT, prayers, stories and experiences with papa and words of endearment as well as, the sympathy expressed by everyone. We can't think of anything more on how to extend our deepest heartfelt appreciation.


To the people who loved and paid respect to papa as well as his good comrades from the Ateneo de Manila GS'65, HS'69, Coll '73 who went during his wake at the Our Lady of Peace Memorial Chapel in Antipolo City -- with our small chats during the wake, it unveiled more about my papa during his younger years and how he became an influence to his friends -- missing him most!

But, that concludes to everyone that he is definitely a man of substance.
We definitely appreciate all and really felt consoled.

Gio and his family are now back in Hong Kong and misses papa. My Ate Nina (who's leaving for Norway as a Registered Nurse in a month's time), my fiance Rica and I (scheduled to tie the knot on January 01, 2010) are now back in Davao and misses papa. Our youngest, Enzo (based in Manila and is currently a working student) will still be in Manila accompanied by our mom and papa's siblings and their beloved families; Tita Rita and Tita Vickie, until papa's 40th day -- misses papa.

I humbly request to please light a candle for Manoski on April 4th (his 40th day).

Thank you very much for all your support, mass offerings, prayers and for everyone responsible for the upcoming memorial mass at the Ateneo de Manila College Chapel on March 19th with a simple dinner in a restaurant along Katipunan to follow -- Dad will surely be happy and honored with that.

Your gestures are definitely overwhelming and beyond payment!

I just thank the Father for giving papa the opportunity to belong to a very united batch in the Ateneo that surely knows the definition and comprehension of SUPPORT SYSTEM and BROTHERHOOD! May God's favor rest upon everyone who reads this email and wish you only the BEST!!!

with all our love and sincerest gratitude

In Memorial of My Father...

To the grieving family and dear friends,

There are things in life that we just can't explain.
Only God knows why.
Live life as if it was your last.
For we just don't know when it's time to go back to the Father and be cradled again to eternity.

Papa is now in a better place.

He now sings with the the saints, with Lolo Gil and Lola Emma, the faithfully departed and the angels singing hymns of praise and worship in glorifying only the Father in eternity -- perhaps having a sumptuous banquet. With the short period of time that papa shared his life with us, join us in remembering all the good things he has done.


All the happiness he brought. All the love he shared.

And now, as papa decided to rest and embrace eternity -- may we continue to live on with our lives, bond as a family and treasure each and everyone, and feel inspired that in spite of the sadness of the alarming news, we still are loved and blessed by people around us.

Papa will surely be missed by his family and friends. I would like to invite you to pause and be in a moment of silence and remember papa -- how he touched your life. Please pray with us, his family for his eternal repose and embrace life with the music of his memory.

Grieving for the loss,
Manoski's family